Oh hey there! How’s it going? Good, I hope.
I guess its about time for a little update. If you have still been popping by, you might have noticed that I haven’t been hanging around here lately.
Where on earth am I? What happened? What’s going on?
I really didn’t expect to ever have to write a post like this, and to be honest, I’ve been putting it off tremendously. But, I feel like these words simply have to come out before I can carry on.
When you last heard from me, Alan and I were happily exploring Cambodia – then all of a sudden I seem to have fallen off the blogging radar. I haven’t posted on my blog, have barely looked at my Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and all those things we seem to think are so important – but that I’ve quickly come to realise at a time like this they are right at the very bottom of my priorities…and actually make me feel worse.
I had to return home for health reasons, requiring an unexpected and fairly major surgery. By the time I arrived home I remember saying that I’d cried so much that I’d literally run out of tears. I think most of the tears are for my travel dream, that now feels like its been shattered into a million pieces just out of my reach.
I left my spirit in Asia. Thats the best way I’ve been able to describe how I feel right now.
I gave up so much to follow this dream and I guess I just feel cheated. I gave up a stable job, a decent income and my comfortable home to chase this dream I’d had for as long as I can remember – and to have returned this much earlier than planned feels like…failure.
Deep down, I know that I’m very lucky. I could have had long-term health implications. I could have had no “home” to return to. For goodness sake, I travelled through Asia for more than six months – a continent where many will never leave their own village, let alone their country. I’m indescribably privileged to be able to consider travel as an option, not to mention be freely on the move constantly for as long as Alan and I did.
I’ve taken a long break from my blog. The honest truth? It’s been too upsetting for me to reflect on our travels, too difficult to write these words, too many tears escaping every time my mind revisits my incomplete travels.
However, it’s time to carry on with what I started. I’m digging deep into my dreams, adapting my plans, moving onwards and upwards. There are plenty of posts to come here on the Butterfly Editions, along with some exciting changes over the next few months.
So, there’s the simplified version of the story. For the time being, Alan and I are living in my hometown of Nelson, New Zealand. It hasn’t been an easy few months, and I’m still not quite finished dealing with what happened yet. Fake it till you make it, right? But hey, we all get there in the end, don’t we!
Some life changes look negative and painful on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new and beautiful to emerge.
– Eckhart Tolle
For those of you that continue to follow along with my journey – thank you. I sure hope you stick around for whats to come!